Navigating the Counseling process with children can seem daunting for parents and other family members, particularly when it’s an entirely unfamiliar experience. Fortunately, a wealth of information is available to help inform and empower parents considering—or already receiving—Counseling services for their children. 

As Director of Counseling Services at Tender Hearts Counseling in North Bethesda, Maryland, Allison Brown, NCC, LCPC, RPT-S™, specializes in counseling children and teens. Brown, who is also a Registered Play Therapy-Supervisor, says it’s common for parents to be unsure how to help children manage their feelings or behaviors, and some may not initially know what to expect from Counseling or how their child may benefit. 

“I frequently hear from parents that their child asks for help, and they are not finding what they are currently doing to be helpful,” Brown says. Some of the younger children Brown works with have issues regulating their emotions and behavior in school or at home.  

“I also see anxiety and selective mutism as presenting concerns,” she says, “and many children who come to our office are neurodivergent; they are typically brought in due to challenges with symptoms that they are experiencing, sometimes resulting from a diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and/or autism spectrum disorder.” 

Teens often internalize their worries and may become overwhelmed by school, family, sports, relationships, and social obligations, Brown says. They may become depressed, anxious, have trouble regulating their emotions, or present with self-harm or suicidal ideation.  

Creating a safe and welcoming space for private discussion is essential to help put young people at ease from the beginning of the Counseling relationship. 

“The right environment for children to feel that the office is their space—and that I am their person—starts from the first interaction,” Brown says. “When walking out to meet the families for the first time, I always start with the child, introducing myself and starting a conversation with them before engaging their parents, showing them that they are the person I am excited about. In society, adults typically engage with other adults first, and children see themselves as in the background to adult conversations. They need to be seen and heard and enjoyed from the first interaction.” 

To help parents and children understand the process, Counselors should explain the basics of evidence-based approaches and their experience using specific counseling methods with young people. Options may include cognitive behavioral therapy (including trauma-focused), parent-child interaction therapy, family therapy, art therapy, and play therapy, which Brown particularly enjoys and recommends, and others. 

“Play therapy is amazing for kids; it engages them through the way they communicate—play! Children’s language lags behind their cognitive development, and play allows them to express themselves in the natural language of childhood,” she says. “They are able to develop skills and work through challenges. The themes that come up in play therapy show the therapist the child’s world and how they are trying to make sense of what they are experiencing.”   

In some circumstances, parents may have reservations that their child will view Counseling as a punishment for undesirable behavior rather than an opportunity for personal growth. They may also have concerns about confidentiality.  

“I focus on setting the appropriate expectations from the beginning,” Brown says. “With children, I talk to everyone about parents receiving updates and that we don’t share specifics, but part of my job is to help their parents be able to be the best parent for their child. With teens, the expectation is set that what is said in the office stays in the office, outside of safety concerns. The teens collaboratively work with me to provide updates to parents on their own or in session together.”  

Having a growth-centered outlook can be reassuring as well. 

“We develop goals through a positive lens, focusing on what they want to achieve or the desired outcome,” Brown says. If parents seem to emphasize aspects other than the child’s growth and skill development, she typically has a private conversation with them to help reframe the situation and get back on track. “All successes are celebrated and encouraged,” she says, adding that “being able to focus on the small successes builds confidence and the belief that children and teens are capable of the hard things that they are trying to do.”    

For Counselors who work with children or are interested, Brown recommends the many trainings listed on The Association for Play Therapy site. “There are play therapy trainings that help clinicians integrate other modalities into playful approaches, allowing children to engage through the natural language of childhood,” she says.   

This is only a sampling of potential resources we’ve compiled, but Counselors may also consider sharing them with parents: 

• Child Mind Institute’s Family Resource Center 
  
• HealthyChildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics 
  
• The National Child Traumatic Stress Network 
  
• Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child, featuring several resource guides 
  
• Zero to Three’s Early Childhood Resource Center 
  
• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 
  
• SAMHSA’s Parent and Caregiver Resources 
• The American Psychological Association’s Top Parenting Resources From Psychologists 
  
• National Alliance on Mental Illness Guidance for Caregivers 
• Mayo Clinic Press three-part series “Navigating Therapy for Your Child”
• Parents Helping Parents virtual support groups and Directory of Free Resources for Parents

 Lastly, it’s important for families of children in Counseling to understand the need to be flexible, Brown says. 

“Children in Counseling are doing hard work! To support them, the family system needs to be open to making changes. I encourage parents to engage with them through curiosity about what is driving their behavior and to carefully avoid statements that would indicate judgment.” Keeping the lines of communication open and being fully present for conversations at home can also provide parents with opportunities for guidance and brainstorming, Brown says. “Parents frequently don’t want their children or teens to fail or make mistakes, and it’s important to go through the journey with them, not try to stop it from happening.”  

Allison Brown, NCC, LCPC, RPT-S™ is the owner and Director of Counseling at Tender Hearts Counseling, LLC in North Bethesda, Maryland. Brown specializes in working with children and teens with regulation challenges, neurodivergence, and anxiety. She is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, a National Certified Counselor, and a Registered Play Therapy-Supervisor™. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in counseling.